A girl on the middle of an endless road

Me

Well hello there! My name is Zaira, and I am giving myself permission not to feel guilty about writing solely about me, for the next 10 minutes. No over analyzing. No going back and erasing words that just came out of my brain because I think they might look better written in a different way. Like my sister said one day,  “Just brain vomit!” 

So I will just start writing …. and I hope I don’t make you vomit! Literally! Ewwww! LOL

So here we go!

Passionate about living.

And not just living but enjoying, loving and appreciating every minute that I possibly can out of my day. I love the overwhelming sensation of thankfulness that I get when I am able to stop the noise in my head and feel my presence.   I strive to make space for that feeling more times in my day. It leads to happiness, fulfillment, peace and just a better me for the world to see.

Laughing is a mayor thing for me.

I want to laugh all the time! Laughter is so good for the soul, for my energy, for my vibe, for everyone around me.  Everyday I try to seek ways to feel less stressed and  look for little spaces here and there to fit in another laugh. This helps me in ways that are indescribable. When I want to sit and whine about not having enough time, when I get interrupted 100 times a day, when I am missing my mom and dad, I remember to exercise my muscles.  I laugh. I look for something that I can do that will make me laugh. Usually, taking a 15 min break to sit and hang out with the kids will help me out! And I don’t mean sitting down with them and watching them play! I mean, sitting down with them and playing with them, or going out with them and playing with them! Note the keyword here is playing.

That is the reason why children are so free! And you should never let go of the child in you. While we are not truly free from conditioned thoughts, kids run free discovering new things, playing and occupying their mind solely with things that interest them. They are still wild at heart. However, we  are running around crazy with conditioned thoughts in our head, worrying about bills, and  meaningless things, like the latest trend with shoes, or about the laundry not being done, or appointments we have to get to! Yes, these things, ultimately are meaningless!

Kids still see the world with excitement and awe. They don’t know about all the negative things we see. They just Are.  Laughing comes to them like breathing. Sometimes I feel envy at their easiness. The good thing is if you allow it, it is contagious!

I am a mommy of two.

And oh my God does it overwhelm me!  To the point where I feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed! Isn’t this in our nature? Then, why does it feel so hard at times? Why does it overwhelm me so much? Well, I best go into detail in my posts, but in short, I think, as many other moms, feeling overwhelmed comes easy to us when there is a drive to be much more than a good mom. I want to be that mom that raises children who will go out into the world, fearless, full of love, full of respect and gratefulness. Children that go out into the world and call me every day, or almost everyday, and never, ever forget to hug me or give me  tons of kisses, why would they forget? I am the type of mom that wants to give my kids every single  opportunity available at my fingertips but not spoil them into horrible brats and bullies. And its a fine line between sanity and insanity!

two kids sitting down in the backyard reading
My life

I want to be there for each one of their milestones, but I also want to put an example for them as they grow up, of someone who didn’t have to put all their dreams on hold because of the responsibility of having children. Like I said, fine line my friends, fine line!

The moments in my day where I am able to quiet down the noise in my head,  and be present for a few minutes, I realize how lucky I am, how blessed. I breathe in their energy, their beauty, and it makes everything disappear.  By stopping the noise in my head and just being, my children have the ability to sweep me away with their beauty, grace, laughter, cheerfulness. At times, waking up to a child playing battlefield in my room can make me feel like I have the most amazing life anyone can ask for! Other times I want to get up and open my mouth and breathe out fire and scare them away! LOL. But those moments fade away into nothingness, and always the moments that remains are the ones that made you feel grateful. And isn’t this what we want? To feel alive? To have purpose? To feel swept away?

I am the Queen of one man

Yes, it might be sound corny, but its the truth. I have found a connection with another human being that lifts my spirits, motivates me, inspires me and makes me feel that every woman on this earth should  feel the same way! And hell, why a not?

Every woman should feel a deep connection, an unreplaceable understanding of their lover. I hope every woman at some point in their life can find a person that lifts them up instead of shoving them down. Someone who they can trust, that they can love with no boundaries or fear.

It is beautiful,  not to belong to someone, that is an illusion, but to connect, to have a meaningful and evolving connection with a human being that is also in awe of you. It is intense. Its loving fiercely.

I am an all over the place kind of girl.

From a very young age, I loved rearranging my desk, closet and room. It was a never-ending story.

I still feel it’s a never-ending story.

I am always trying to be organized. I love any article that has to do with organization. But the problem lays in that I always convince myself there is a better way, so instead of choosing a method of organization, I am always “improving” it, and ending up in chaos! Sometimes I am ok and I accept myself the way I am. Reminding myself that I am spontaneous, and have a lot of room for new exciting discoveries, and ideas. Not that organized people don’t , but being so organized, they always seem to have a plan and sometimes that can get in the way of being spontaneous! That’s what I tell myself anyways. The positive in me making me feel better!

Other days, I wonder if I will ever feel truly organized, and I wonder how that feels like. Hopefully, this chaotic girl will one day feel satisfied with her organization traumas!

I am a mama’s girl.

She is simply my #1 fan, and I am hers.

 Law of Attraction

I am pretty much obsessed with the law of Attraction. I have so many manifestations in my life of positive things happening thanks to this ancient law. It has helped me through the toughest years of my life, and it has also made me ask myself questions, at times when I don’t understand why I don’t have the manifestations I desire.

I always talk about the law of attraction to my family and friends, hoping they can have a little more faith in the outcome of their lives.

So basically I sometimes feel like a Law of Attraction Preacher! I never notice if someone looks at me weird, but that’s ok, it won’t make me stop. Someday they will get it!

Music

When I lose myself in music, I feel I am in a form of presence. I feel it’s kind of a meditation form. Especially when you are listening to the song with no distractions, or maybe even freely dancing in the garage while your kiddos sleep. : )

Hobbies

I feel I should have made this “Me” part a little bit shorter, but I do like to talk, so I apologize. I have many hobbies I love, reading is one of the mayor ones. I love researching, educating my children, organizing, traveling, photography,  being on the beach and painting!

I think for now it’s enough about me! Like everything in life, this is a work in process!

Zaira

 

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Eliminate fear. Love every minute of your life.